ion8 Forfarshire Cricket Club
Breadalbane v ion8 Forfarshire Cricket Club 3rd XI on Sat 22 May 2010 at 1pm
ion8 Forfarshire Cricket Club Won 7 wickets
The fixture list threw up another Saturday league fixture for Forthill XI as they faced the long yet picturesque journey to Bread Al Bayne. Once again the club faced putting out three teams on the same day and once again excuses for non availability ranged from doing something else in Edinburgh, injury, exams and watching the Champions League Final.
Added this week as a reason for non selection was inability to pay subscriptions on time – and the Subs Police were positioned at Forthill in their unmarked white Volvo to ensure no one had slipped through the net. The unmarked police car - which doubles as a mobile gardening unit, net building base and it is rumoured perhaps to sometimes serve as an occasional overnight abode for its driver………….has added a cash charging and credit card facility to its Aladdin’s Cave of uses.
After the credit check on all players was carried out (the skipper slipped through by the skin of his teeth having made an emergency cash payment) the team made their way up the A9 to a very hot Bread-Al-Bayne. The bad news for the skipper was that having been relieved of his spare cash he could not make his customary stop at Chocolate World just outside Aberfeldy which is his favourite stopping off point – that is at least until Kebab World opens later in the day.
It was roasting hot at the ground and all you ask for on a scorcher is for the skipper to win the toss and have a bat – so it was with some disappointment that we found ourselves in the field and facing 45 overs of oppressive heat.
The team was much changed from the previous week and once again Clark and Lindsay were pressed into action. Lindsay once again pulled of a lucrative clothing sponsorship – this time with Lacoste and he looked resplendent in his white polo shirt and contrast colour navy shorts.
Andy and Samir opened up and the home team unfortunately got off to a good start, Adam and Glenn also came into the attack and it was Glenn who put the brakes on a runaway home score. Extreme hot weather is a challenge for all Scottish natives, but for those of the flaming red hair and fair skin it is even more so. It was therefore a monumental task for Glenn to overcome the conditions and quite remarkably he bowled nine overs on the trot. He obviously enjoys a challenge as he decided to spice it up even more by wearing a long sleeved thermal shirt under his cricket shirt. With his spell coming to an end, Glenn induced one of the home batsmen to play well away from his body and a loud nick was safely pouched by Simmy.
A routine wicket if ever there was one and it was with some dismay that the Forthill team realized that the batsman had not walked; which was incredible such was the severity of the very thick edge. Surely though it would be a formality one suspected for the home umpire to confirm the dismissal. Shock, horror – the umpire refused to raise his finger and the batsman stayed put.
It was such a loud noise that at the exact moment of impact a golfer on the adjacent golf course actually checked behind him to see if his bag of golf clubs had fallen off his trolley, we later found out that in a nearby Aberfeldy tea-room a waitress also checked behind her as she thought a tray had fallen on the floor and at the top of one of the surrounding mountains a hill walker could be seen checking behind him to see if he had dropped his small stove and provisions.
When the umpire was questioned why he had not given the batsman out by the assembled throng of Forthill players who had surrounded Glenn in congratulatory fashion – the umpire said he had not heard anything. When it was suggested he must have a substantial body of some sort lodged within his ears to be unable to hear such a loud sound of leather on willow – a rather unfortunate verbal ding dong ensued.
The upshot was that the batsman stayed put but as a small consolation the umpire was removed from the fray.
(Added Note – the aforementioned umpire did come into bat late in the innings and much to the enjoyment of the visiting team was run out whilst backing up……)
Thankfully the game continued in more subdued fashion and it was the home batsmen who made us toil in the sunshine with an array of good shots. Glenn finished his spell and young Scott and Craig came on and bowled 14 overs between them against two good players in full flow and did well – however after some lusty blows by Antipodean Lee in particular (which kept Mr. Lacoste busy looking for flying cricket balls in the surrounding trees) it was a mammoth 279 runs for the loss of just four wickets which were racked up by the home team when a welcome tea break was taken.
It was a good effort in very difficult conditions from the visitors and it should be recognized that no one over the age of eighteen bowled and indeed in Samir, Chris, Craig and Scott we had the guts of last year’s Under 15 attack on view.
Tea consisted of a hefty quantity of home filled sandwiches and copious amounts of cakes. Also somewhat unusually a very large bunch of bananas was the centre piece of the table. A nice cup of tea was also provided and encouragingly a convivial atmosphere between the teams was in evidence in spite of earlier incidents. A high tea score would normally have ensued, however marks were lost for the cramped conditions and lack of beautiful ladies so a 6 out of 10 is awarded.
The Cameron Brothers (sounds like a Scottish Country Dance Band) opened the batting in pursuit of an unlikely victory and it was a bullish home team who took the field. Scott unfortunately fell to our favourite umpire to a ball that popped and Clark went in and quickly got revenge by depositing said umpire into the trees on more than one occasion.
Clark and Andy Cameron (We’re on the march wi’ Simmy’s Army) started to tick along nicely and in spite of various bowling changes the scoreboard kept rattling along. Having been removed from the attack, Forthill’s favourite umpire took to some unpleasant and offensive personal sledging of the mild mannered veteran batsman at the crease. Practically in tears at such personal insults, the batsman made an official and subdued complaint to the home skipper and he managed to calm the level of abuse to tolerable and some sense return to proceedings. Clark held back the tears and continued to flay the home attack to all points.
Andy unfortunately fell just one run short of a maiden senior fifty and on this showing it won’t be long before he reaches the 50 mark. Well played Andy.
The runs kept coming however and Adam came in and helped Clark along and then Glenn came in and played a nice cameo at the end to see us home to an unlikely victory.
This was another great 25 points in the bag and the young lads in the team all played their part in the victory.
It is hoped that in future games we can see an end to ludicrous umpiring decisions (backed up by seeing an end to batsmen who refuse to walk) and get back to the true values of the game of cricket of fair play and sportsmanship. It is hard to educate our young cricketers how to stick to these values when they are subjected to experienced cricketers flouting the rules in order to try and win at all costs.
On this occasion justice was done and the culprits ended up on the losing side – but that is not always going to be the case and all clubs need to get together and try and put this right.
So we wound our way back down the A9 to enjoy a cooling drink, a spot of TV – or in the case of one ageing player a full scale collapse in a heap on the couch……
All players are reminded that if they have not paid their subs they will not be selected on Tuesday. The Mobile Bank Of Forfarshire will be situated in the car park throughout the week and will accept cash, debit card and credit cards. For anyone who sets foot within the changing area or on the field of play itself without making the required payment, please be warned that the annual opening of the machine gun turret on top of the club house has taken place and you are liable to be shot.
for 6 wickets
279 (0.0 overs)
ct & b A Cameron
ct A Cameron b Carnegie
Retired Not Out
b A Cameron
ct A Cameron b S Cameron
ion8 Forfarshire Cricket Club 3rd XI Bowling
ion8 Forfarshire Cricket Club 3rd XI Batting
for 3 wickets
ct b Delph
ct Lee b Bridgeman
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