ion8 Forfarshire Cricket Club 3rd XI v Kinross on Sun 24 Jun 2012 at 1pm
ion8 Forfarshire Cricket Club Won 7 wickets

Match report
The story of 2012 so far has undoubtedly been the dreadful weather - and the monsoon conditions continued unabated this week. Thursday night saw Dundee hit with the latest in a long line of drenchings; and the fair green pastures of Forthill were well flooded on Friday morning.

However, king groundsman Cully was undaunted and got out the super soaker and spiker and set about making the ground playable. He worked like a Trojan on heat and spilled blood, sweat and tears during every daylight hour Friday could provide - and the result was a playable ground on Saturday morning. The seconds played a full game on Saturday as a result - and nicely put on the covers ahead of Sunday’s scheduled third team encounter with Kinross.

The weather forecast was mixed and persistent showers arrived as expected on Sunday morning which put the game in some doubt; however our miracle working groundsman refused to put the game off and once again set about making the ground playable. After an hour on the super soaker he set his prayer mat in the direction of the Law Hill and made worship to Mower (the God of Groundsmen) and miraculously the clouds parted, the rain stopped and the game was given the go ahead.

When Kinross last visited Forthill in 2010 they were on a meteoric rise up the divisions sweeping all before them and their juniors were the talk of the country. That day they gave Forthill 2nd XI a sound beating. However, a tricky 2011 saw their progress hit the buffers a little and they were relegated from the top division and returned to Division One. Home skipper Sim Senior was a late arrival at the ground due to church duties and the home players could only hope that his secret prayers for a winning toss would come to fruition. His ill fitting suit and cream and beige shirt and tie combination was clearly a recent E Bay purchase. The players watched for the skipper’s body language and could tell the toss had been lost as usual, but the shoulders were not as hunched as usual. The news came back that whilst the toss had indeed been lost, the visitors had chosen to bat first which somewhat surprised us.

Craig and Andy opened the bowling and got some good movement through the air and off the pitch and both bowled very well. This put the Kinross openers under pressure and a series of play and misses and edges resulted. Andy picked up both openers and the run rate was slow so this was a good start which set the tone for the whole innings. Chris picked up Gosse early on in his spell and also bowled with great control throughout. Glenn was economical at the other end and Hogey was the same when he took over. None of the visiting batsmen were able to master the conditions and whilst they were surviving, run scoring was slow. On debut, Rory also bowled four nice overs towards the end of the innings. The only blight on an otherwise excellent display in the field was the clanking of some catching opportunities, however with the Kinross innings closing on 113 for 8, the home side would definitely have settled for that at the beginning.

Immediately on reaching the dressing rooms, the good performance was forgotten as the home players were met with the rather intimidating sight of a clearly angry chairman of selectors. He launched forth with a tirade of abuse and it was clear he had concerns over the amount of tea that had been provided. Such was the venom and anger in his voice, one suspected that on arrival in the tearoom there was going to be one sandwich between 22 players and we would have to have a raffle for it.......or maybe a fight! He made it clear that the visitors were to be given first refusal on the paltry supply and we would have to wait our turn to argue over any crumbs. It was thankfully confirmed that we could all have a cup of tea....

On reaching the tea room, it became clear that whilst this could not be described as a massive tea table groaning with goodies – it also wasn’t quite as bad as the picture the chief tea attendant had painted. It was certainly miles better than a Rossie Priory second eleven tea. Kinross were given first run at the table and then the Forthill lads formed an orderly queue. Using questioning techniques learned from Chief Inspector Sim, the tea adjudicator questioned the young lads one by one to see if they had indeed brought tea. They all lied and said they had. It turned out everyone got fed OK – and whilst the tea only earned a five out of ten it was not as bad as we thought it might be. The chairman of selector’s day got worse when it transpired that the male toilets had become flooded and he was last seen filling Freda’s bucket.

Chubbsy and Andy opened up and Kinross’ opening bowler Ross (who is clearly a cricketer of some talent with bat and ball) charged in off a lengthy run up in search of an early wicket and was well supported by the accurate Gosse at the other end. Unfortunately Chubbsy got bowled; but Clark joined Andy and they slowly ticked the board along without too many dramas after that. Andy had a rush of blood and tried and uncharacteristic slog at a straight one from leg spinner Watson and was correctly adjudged LBW...

Bryce came in next and in his standard entertaining fashion quickly showed some interesting running between the wickets and almost killed his non striking partner with a firmly struck straight drive. The final surprise of his nice cameo came when at drinks he marched off the field and into the changing room and announced he was off to his work. On the resumption the visiting bowler had not realised that Hogey had replaced Bryce and after one ball to Hogey asked if Bryce was in fact Benjamin Button...!!!

The required runs were knocked off in the 30th over and an ultimately comfortable home victory was achieved. The Kinross bowlers and fielders stuck well to their task and Ross (Junior – sorry John), Gosse and Watson all bowled particularly well. In truth, the game was won and lost in the first innings and the fine display from the home bowlers was the key area of the match. Amazingly, the game was played out without any rain interruption and the surface held up well given the recent weather. It was indeed a miracle to get the game played after the weather across the country in the last few days and all participants were I think just grateful to get a game of cricket.

The Man of the Match award was given to our esteemed groundsman Cully for his super human efforts over the last few days. He wins a new pair of flippers and a JRA early warning kit.

On an important point of order, there have been complaints of a terrible and at times unbearable smell coming from the players viewing area and home dressing room on certain occasions. The club apologises for any discomfort caused by this experience and it is clearly a serious issue. The cause has been narrowed down to one of a few things..... It could be the drains being blocked following the recent rain and raw sewage backing up and this would certainly explain the horrendous aroma. It could possibly be a gas leak and the Gas Board are monitoring the situation closely and have carried out tests, however they say that the smell is off the scale as far as they are concerned so a gas leak is being ruled out . It could also be the return to playing action of Bryce.
Rest assured the club are looking to take action and any players feeling unwell should let club officials know immediately. This is a smell not fit for human consumption.......

Players are reminded for the next home game that tea should be provided for 22 people by each player. Dave will be carrying out carrier bag searches upon your arrival at the ground to ensure you have brought sufficient food. Anyone not bringing sufficient tucker will immediately be despatched to Sainsburys to buy a family sized Pizza, a twelve pack of Kit Kats and a case of Fanta. Repeat offenders will be put into the kit cupboard alone with Bryce for five minutes with no gas mask. You have been warned.

Next week sees us make the jaunt along the Arbroath Road to meet our local rivals Dundee HSFP XI. We lost a close first game of the season to the Dalnacraig boys, but we were subsequently awarded full points on appeal following the spotting of a clerical error by a leading unnamed Forfarshire official. This person will remain anonymous for his own safety.
A final reminder that any technical issues in terms of rule breaking by the opposition should be sent immediately to Gus.

Kinross Batting
Player name RunsMB4s6sSR
1nb 13w 5b  
for 8 wickets
113 (45.0 overs)
J Ross b  Cameron 19
C Watson b  Cameron 12
F Gosse b  Welsh 2
M Robson ct  D Sim b Welsh 20
J Ross ct  Wilson b Welsh 9
A Peterson b  Cameron 5
P McDonald b  McConnachie 10
L Peterson ct  S Sim b Carnegie 13
C Emslie Not Out  3
A Collins Not Out  1
T Gosse  

ion8 Forfarshire Cricket Club 3rd XI Bowling

Player NameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
Craig McConnachie9.0227127.003.00
Andrew Cameron9.011836.002.00
Glenn Carnegie8.0217117.002.13
Christopher Welsh9.012237.332.44
Jack Hogarth6.00800.001.33
Rory Johnston4.001400.003.50

ion8 Forfarshire Cricket Club 3rd XI Batting
Player Name RMB4s6sSRCatchesStumpingsRun outs
9w 6b 2lb 
for 3 wickets

(29.5 overs)
Andrew Cameron lbw  Watson 19
Steven Sim b  Gosse 0 1
Clark McConnachie Not Out  51 6
Bryce Robertson Retired Out  27 3
Jack Hogarth Bowled  2
Glenn Carnegie Not Out  0
Craig McConnachie  
David Sim   1
Connor Wilson  
Christopher Welsh  
Rory Johnston  

Kinross Bowling

Player nameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
J Ross9.022600.002.89
F Gosse5.02818.001.60
John Ross6.003200.005.33
L Peterson2.00900.004.50
C Watson7.5233216.504.21