ion8 Forfarshire Cricket Club 3rd XI v St.Modans on Sun 29 Jul 2012 at 1pm
Match was Abandoned

Match report
In a season dominated by bad weather, it was no surprise that rain was ultimately the major factor in Sunday’s game between Forthill 2nd XI and St Modans at Forthill. The visitors were playing their first game in seven weeks - and in spite of their lengthy inactivity during the height of “summer” they were still sitting at the summit of the league with a 100% record. Although there had been some overnight rain, the ground was in good condition and the wicket dry; so a prompt start was in order – although the forecast predicted some rain later in the day....!!! Unfortunately, for once the forecasters got it right!

The home team was much changed from last week’s victorious squad with many of the younger players from last week either back in action with the fourth team - or at home waiting for the new Peppa Pig episodes to come on. Among others, we welcomed back the skipper and vice skipper from their golf watching trip to the Open last week. They brought us all back souvenir “Open 2012” burger wrappers autographed by Ronald McDonald. Skipper Sim senior ventured out to the middle and as usual lost the toss and the visitors opted to bat first. The club are to write to all future opponents this year and advise them that we have decided to dispense with the tossing of the coin in future games and just let them have their choice whether to bat or bowl............. as tossing the coin is clearly a pointless exercise for Simmy.

Craig and Andy opened up and runs were at a premium and Andy struck the first blow having the opener smartly caught at first slip by Hogey. This brought visiting pro Matthews to the wicket and we were well aware of his hitting prowess and knew that we needed to try and get him out as cheaply as possible. After a few lusty blows, Hogey now into the attack got him to inside edge one on to the stumps and he departed bowled for 25.

St Modans were now in trouble and some good home bowling and fielding saw wickets fall at regular intervals and the visitors were in serious trouble at 75 for 7. This phase included 4 wickets for 14 from Glenn in an excellent spell. He narrowly missed out on a hat trick when Raza hit the hat trick ball in aerial fashion towards mid wicket but the ball fell just short of the swooping (sleeping?) veteran fielder positioned there....! In what ultimately turned out to be a crucial phase of the game, the St Modans tailenders dug in and managed to use up a number of overs as the home side failed to take the last couple of wickets quickly – and whilst very few runs were being scored – time was being used up as the inevitable rainclouds gathered over Dundee..... When Andy took the last wicket to end the stubborn resistance of Belly (19) – and with the final total set at 95 all out; the rain came on and a lengthy tea was then taken as the wet stuff came down.

At the last home game, all players were promised serious physical violence from the tea monitor if they failed in future to bring large amounts of sandwiches with them......... nsurprisingly, in the face of these threats, there were large amounts of sandwiches on view this week and thankfully no punishment beatings needed to be dispensed. The cake table was less inviting than the sandwich mountain, so a fairly average award of five out of ten was awarded. It is hard to see where a mega tea award is going to come from this year – but with visits to Coupar Angus, Kinloch and Kinross still to come this year you never know....! Maybe Dicky Bowman will bake us some fairy cakes again like last time. Freda was absent from view and apparently she was at home playing with her new bottle opener.

The players all had the usual helpings of a sandwich or two, perhaps a small sausage roll and a couple of cakes. As ever, the food selection was transported by the player on one of the small side plates provided, which as always were positioned in a neat pile beside the sandwiches. Throughout the history of the club, this has always been the format and no one has ever felt the need to question this procedure. People are even always invited to go back for seconds if required. It was therefore with some surprise that the home side noted that their skipper was not utilising the standard size of plate which was provided, but had instead made a special trip to the kitchen and secured himself what could only be described as an oversized dinner plate. He had filled it lavishly with two of every filled roll on offer, half a dozen sausage rolls, a handful of chipolatas, ten chocolate digestives and five jam filled mini rolls. It was suggested he should pay an additional match levy to cover his “Super Size” cricket tea but this fell on deaf ears......When questioned about his actions, the only reply he could come up with was....”I am hungry”

The rain kept falling and things looked bleak; but in miraculous fashion the rain went off, some tidy up work to the run ups was carried out and play got under way again. With a total of just 96 required to secure victory, the home side were clear favourites to take the 25 points on offer, however it also seemed very likely given the dark skies that the rain would return at some point in the near future.......

Forthill decided to take a positive approach and Clark and Andy opened up with the instructions to play positively...............or alternatively put – just hack at everything! This they did; which was difficult for the technically correct Andy to adapt to - but came as second nature to Clark.......and a quick start was secured against the bowling of Mathews and Wilson. Clark fell to a smart catch by Mathews on the boundary (after he sneaked back 20 yards on to the line mid delivery when the bowler was running in....) and Hogey came to the wicket to join Andy. The scoreboard was ticking along nicely, but unfortunately the rain returned and the covers were once again pushed on. This time the rain was heavier for a spell. Time for the waders....

With the strange league rules meaning that unless a game is played to a finish it is declared null and void; it was clearly in St Modans’ interests not to complete the game and protect their 100% record............and the home team were obviously keener to get back on the field given their very strong position.
A stand-off ensued.........and the home side donned their wellies and raincoats and were full of enthusiasm for a further clean-up operation..............whilst the visitors put on their civvies and started their cars...!!!

With the rain going off again -the home side got the spiker and the super soaker into action and after some effort and an SOS lorry being sent to B and Q for more sawdust.........the game once again got under way. A reluctant St Modans seemed to be in no hurry to bowl their overs and lengthy ball drying activity, group tactical discussions and every ball field changes were thrown in to the mix; and with the rainclouds again gathering Hogey and Andy tried to chase the runs down, however with the score on 62 for 1 after 15 overs and victory in sight............the rain once again returned.

The covers were once again pushed on and another delay followed. The St Modans players seemed keen to head for home in spite of the rules stating that we had until 8.30pm to get back on to the field – and around 7.30 pm it was agreed that we would wait until 7.45 pm to once again look at conditions. This agreement was met with howls of derision from the visiting players who when hearing of the 7.45pm inspection did a synchronised watch check which would not have looked out of place in an Olympic pool. The rain went off for the 27th time in two hours and more strenuous efforts followed from the home team to get the game going again. In spite of the situation, three visiting players headed for home (work commitments and an Edinburgh airport pick up the valid reasons for the departures) and some of the remaining players voiced their disappointment at proceedings in no uncertain terms..................and one raised concerns on the basis that “Health and Safety” was being compromised.........quoting the dangers of possibly slipping.

In common with many people, I break into a cold sweat whenever I hear the phrase “Health and Safety” being mentioned anywhere.........and it was the first time I had heard these words used when considering a game of amateur cricket. For me the only time I have ever considered “Health and Safety” an issue in the context of a game of cricket was when eating tea once at Rossie Priory and never, ever because of bad weather.........

The home team took advantage of the rain going off momentarily to push off the covers.........mainly because they were under instructions to cover next week’s match wicket and needed to switch the covers anyway..............and somewhat cheekily they did this to pretend we were re-starting the game as a wind up on the St Modans lads!!! This worked a treat with a couple of the visitors collapsing in shock and another couple going purple with rage.......
Perhaps thankfully; with the visitors down to eight men and the clock ticking towards 8pm; a terminal heavy shower fell on the ground and the respective skippers shook hands and the game was called off.

The sight of Simmy pushing the super soaker up and down in pouring rain in his royal blue sweatshirt will live long in the will that of Bryce doing likewise with the Spiker.........the sight and sound of Lord Joseph Walker repeatedly passing wind whilst at the same time telling us how to play cricket will be less memorable......

So St Modans somehow headed for home with their 100% record still intact and the home side gained no points for their efforts in a game which they totally dominated. We are told that Lumpy and Co listened to some CD’s on the way home to chill out to with tracks selected including Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head, Rainy Days and Mondays, I Can’t Stand the Rain, Rainy Day People, Stormy Weather and Slip, Sliding Away........ They then stopped off at Blockbuster on the way home and rented some DVD’s to commemorate the day........plumping for Rainman and The Great Escape.

In the end, it was one of those situations where the sensible people involved could see the point of view of both teams and recognise how these circumstances tend to play out. Credit goes to visiting skipper Mathews for taking a pragmatic approach to events. We believe he is returning to South Africa at the end of the season and everyone at Forthill wishes him well for the future. He has been a welcome addition to the league for a number of seasons and will be missed.............although maybe not too much by some of the Forthill bowlers!
The home team replaced the covers one last time in pouring rain and gathering darkness - and after a long day of mopping up and getting drenched finally reached the sanctuary and warmth of the home dressing room. They were then met with the comforting words of the skipper who said “I need money from you all and you also need to take in the boundary rope!!!” Talk about kicking a man when he is down...

The Man of the Match Award went to Chief Constable Sim for his super human efforts in cleaning the pitch on numerous occasions..............and a dustbin lid to put his tea on at future home games is his prize.So the glorious summer continues and we try again next Sunday with a trip to the Costa Del Fife to meet Kinloch on the card. Fingers crossed........!!!

St.Modans Batting
Player name RunsMB4s6sSR
2w 1b 3lb 
for 10 wickets
95 (0.0 overs)
J Wilson ct  b Robertson 7
N Jahaneir ct  b Cameron 5
C Matthews b  Hogarth 25
S McPake b  Hogarth 8
G Pollock ct  b Carnegie 3
S Gibbs ct  b Robertson 0
D Belly b  Cameron 19
D Kaufman ct  b Carnegie 1
L Currie b  Carnegie 0
Q Raza ct  b Carnegie 5
F Reive Not Out  6

ion8 Forfarshire Cricket Club 3rd XI Bowling

Player NameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
Craig McConnachie2.00800.004.00
Andrew Cameron7.0222211.003.14
Jack Hogarth6.0128214.004.67
Christian Robertson6.011226.002.00
Glenn Carnegie9.041443.501.56
Blair Walker4.01700.001.75

ion8 Forfarshire Cricket Club 3rd XI Batting
Player Name RMB4s6sSRCatchesStumpingsRun outs
3nb 5w 3b 4lb 
for 1 wickets

(15.0 overs)
Andrew Cameron Not Out  25 2
Clark McConnachie ct  Matthew b Wilson 7 1
Jack Hogarth Not Out  15
David Sim  
Steven Sim  
Craig McConnachie  
Bryce Robertson  
Christian Robertson  
Christopher Welsh  
Blair Walker  
Glenn Carnegie  

St.Modans Bowling

Player nameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
C Matthew5.001300.002.60
J Wilson5.0024124.004.80
Q Raza3.01300.001.00
S McPake2.001500.007.50