Perth Doo'cot 2nd XI v ion8 Forfarshire Cricket Club 3rd XI on Sat 09 Aug 2014 at 1pm
ion8 Forfarshire Cricket Club Lost 10 wickets

Match report Heavy rain on Friday night lead to some serious concerns about cricket being played the following day, however watery sunshine and drying winds meant that grounds across the East of Scotland were given the green light by groundsmen up and down the country. If the players of Forthill 2nd XI had any inkling what lay in store for them over the next few hours........they would have definitely wished it had still been raining!

Only five of last Sunday’s team were in the line up that made the journey to face Perth Do’ocot. Five of the missing six were called up to the second team.....and the vice skipper was missing at a stag do in Glasgow. With no less than twelve players unavailable in total, it is fair to say that the club’s playing resources were stretched fairly thin, however we still managed to put out three teams on this soggy Saturday. With the skipper back in his usual place thanks to no conflicting eating based events taking place; he strode out to the middle for what was considered an important toss to win. Then the coin fell wrongly, or the skipper called wrongly........whichever it was; the outcome was a lost flip and we were inserted.

It became apparent that this was a strong home team with the Perth club choosing to use their overall playing resources wisely given their second team’s precarious league position. No harm in that, every other club would do the same. So it transpired that it was Messrs McGaffney and Hill, two very experienced campaigners and fine bowlers, who opened the bowling.

A solid start was needed for the visitors and with Christian feeling unwell ; it was Greig and Fraser that opened the batting. McGaffney bowled the first over and after five deliveries the visitors were 0 for 2 with Greig and Clark both back in the hutch having been bowled by out swinging yorkers of the hard to play variety. Hardly a solid start! Craig was then undone in the following over by a delivery from Hill which jagged back severely and clipped his leg stump and 1 for 3 was the sorry sight on the board. Fraser survived a very confident appeal for a catch behind before playing some expansive swishes on his way to an innings top score of 8, before succumbing to a fine catch at cover by Wigley. Christian was fed some Lemsip before heading out to the middle, but he snicked behind and when McGaffney bowled Morgan the writing was well and truly on the wall. The skipper often emerges as the hero in back to the wall situations such as these, but McGaffney saw him off with a fast yorker and the young lads at nine, ten and jack not surprisingly found the bowling and game situation a little too much for them. Only Priyanaz managed to fend off the bowling and credit goes to her for finishing up not out.

Nothing can be taken away from McGaffney who finished with the remarkable figures of 6 for 8; and Hill who also bowled very well for his 4 for 10. Four welcome extras boosted the total to 22 and in the absence of a record book; it was surmised that this was a lowest ever total for the third team and no doubt among the lowest ever for the club. All credit to the Perth bowlers for exploiting the overhead conditions and it has to be mentioned that the wicket was OK and played no major part in proceedings. Not surprisingly, tea was not quite ready and the teams quickly took the park for the formality of innings number two with the required 23 runs being knocked off in quick and aggressive fashion. 25 points to Perth Do’ocot, zero points to Forthill was the final outcome!

Tails between the legs, the visitors trudged off the park having been well and truly gubbed. Any hopes of retaining their league title also disappeared, as news later emerged that fellow title challengers Rossie Priory and Kinloch both won - and this leaves an impossible task on the points gathering front when it comes to finishing top of the league. Tea was readied and we made our way up the timber staircase to the food munching area of the quaint old pavilion. Given the early hour, it was more like a late lunch than an early tea. The tea adjudicator was not in the best of moods, so it was going to be an uphill task to impress him on this particular day!

His first experience of the day on the tea front was when he stood next to the perhaps less than jovial home wicketkeeper, who was pouring tea into a cup at one end of the table from a large silver teapot. Waiter service thought the adjudicator – a fine start!

The adjudicator stood beside him and smiled to the glove man, but his welcoming grin was not reciprocated – in fact he was met with what can only be described as a scowl in return. The home chap proceeded to stop pouring after filling just one cup of tea; and then added milk to it. The visiting tea adjudicator does not take milk in his tea; and was poised to advise the home team pourer of this fact - as he assumed his cup was about to be filled as well - all in a show of standard cricket style friendliness. Try and imagine his surprise when the grumpy home wicketkeeper picked up his own cup and turned on his heels and left the poor visitor to pour his own tea! Minus three points therefore - before we had even started! One point off for not offering to pour; and a further two removed for lack of friendliness! The hot drink of tea was OK when it finally reached the cup – although the lack of a lid on the teapot was slightly disturbing as the tea bags were highly visible swilling around within the receptacle. Certainly not the sort of thing you would get at a high class establishment – such as the Rossie Cafe for example.

The homesters had produced a fairly nice array of sandwiches with a variety of fillings. The tea adjudicator plumped for the tuna offering which was a nice, well filled brown sandwich of reasonable tastiness. If being critical, it was perhaps a little bland. A bowl of various crisps was also on show which is perhaps a local delicacy in Perth? The cake offer was certainly of a higher class than the sandwiches. Related to the cake offer, not content with having knocked us over for next to nothing, home star bowler McGaffney then proceeded to tell us in detail about the bakers’ shop in Auchterarder from where the most impressive strawberry sponge cake taking centre stage on the table was acquired from. It certainly was an impressive sponge, but this revelation that the cake had been bought and not home baked did not sit well with the tea marker – who prefers to hear tales of wives slaving over hot ovens making snacks for the men folk, as opposed to lazy cake buying from a busy wee local bakery.

The visiting skipper however was highly impressed and listened intently to this information and asked Perth Do’ocot’s answer to Mitchell Johnson to repeat the baker’s name on more than one occasion. One could tell this info would most definitely be utilised at some point in the future. In true detective style, the Chief Inspector pounced on the knowledge that McGaffney was from Auchterarder to quiz him about the merits of the various take away food establishments in the town. Skipper Sim offered up the fact that when returning from watching football on the West coast, he often stops off in Auchterarder and frequents the fish and chip shop of Chinese origin at the west end of the High Street. He seemed highly flummoxed when Frank advised that there was an optional fish and chip establishment towards the centre of town which is operated by owners of Italian descent - and which (in his opinion) offers far better fare than the more oriental themed emporium . You could tell that the skipper was thinking that what had been up until now a thoroughly miserable day – was now turning into a highly lucrative one given the unveiling of this excellent detail which was going to be life enhancing.

Imagine his absolute unbridled joy when the representative for the Auchterarder Tourist Board, then proceeded to give a chapter and verse report on the numerous hidden gems of take away food establishments that seemingly hide un-noticed throughout the hamlet Perthshire town. These included further Chinese options, Indian eateries (to either take away from or even sit in) and also a Kebabery ( the type of which the skipper is known to enjoy on a regular basis).The tea expert was gobsmacked at the depth of the conversation being dispensed; and could only think to himself that now he knew why Colin Montgomerie lived in Auchterarder.

The tea adjudicator surveyed the tea scene as he considered his mark and saw that the plates had been well emptied, the players seemed content with their feed and it was a busy kitchen with David Armstrong complete with rubber gloves getting wired into the dishes. He also considered the friendly chat that had ensued and the worth that his team mate had gained from the info being dispensed. He actually later described this as “gold dust”. He was all set to forgive the earlier indiscretion of the tea pourer and award a highly creditable seven out of ten; when his eye was once again caught by the less than jolly wicketkeeper, as he sat grumpily and appeared to have swallowed a bee hive such was the look of intense displeasure on his face. Sod it thought the tea adjudicator - and he decided to go with his four out of ten after all. The tea was certainly worthy of more and it seems harsh to punish the generally friendly club of Perth Do’ocot because of the antics of one player........but if they are ever to reach the upper echelons of the Golden Urn table, then they need to ensure that the service offered and friendly banter is embraced by the whole club. So, with the season drawing to a close, St Andrews University Staff still sit at the top of the Golden Urn League. The home players have one last opportunity to retain the urn next weekend when they have their final home game of 2014.........and then we have visits to Kinloch and St Modans to round off the season.
The latest odds from Ladbrokes have the University Staff lads at 2/1 on to lift the Urn for the first time. Forthill are next at 5/2, St Modans are 5/1and Kinloch are outsiders at 1000/1.

So that was the story behind a day to forget for Forthill 2nd XI at Perth Do’ocot. Having been humbled, the Forthill lads headed back to Broughty Ferry having been well and truly hammered....

The Man of the Match Award was for the first time in history given to an away player and Frank McGaffney receives a Strawberry Sponge from the wee baker’s in Auchterarder. The name of the bakery eludes me, but I will ask the skipper next week........... He will definitely remember it.

Players are reminded that there will be batting practice on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday this week; and players should meet at 9am on Sunday ahead of the league game against Rossie Priory for a net practice of the batting variety. As usual, there will be strict segregation in force for the game against our bitter local rivals from the farming enclave of Inchture. Home fans will occupy the scoreboard and pavilion sides of the ground, with the Rossie fans occupying the school side and the Nursery Road end. Cars should be parked in the South West corner of the ground, and all visiting players and spectators from Inchture are asked not to bring their tractors into the ground and should park them in the car park only.

If there are any visitors from Inchture who do require tea, they should note that unfortunately we will not have any out of date sausages, mouldy sausage rolls, stale sandwiches or rich tea biscuits available on the day. Therefore, if they want to have a traditional Rossie Priory tea like this then they should bring their own.

ion8 Forfarshire Cricket Club 3rd XI Batting
Player Name RunsMB4s6sSRCtStRo
for 10 wickets

(13.3 overs)
Greig Gemmell b McGaffney 0
Fraser Ross ct b Hill 8
Clark McConnachie b McGaffney 0
Craig McConnachie b Hill 0
Christian Robertson ct b Hill 6
David Sim b McGaffney 2
Priyanaz Chatterji Not Out  2
Morgan Sargeant b McGaffney 0
Kailas Narayanan b McGaffney 0
James (jnr) Girolami b McGaffney 0
Andrew Gemmell ct b Hill 0

Perth Doo'cot 2nd XI Bowling

Player nameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
F McGaffney7.03861.331.14
J Hill6.341042.501.54

Perth Doo'cot 2nd XI Batting
Player name RMB4s6sSR
for 0 wickets
23 (4.4 overs)
K Wigley Not Out  13
F Ali Not Out  7

ion8 Forfarshire Cricket Club 3rd XI Bowling

Player NameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
Craig McConnachie2.40800.003.00
Christian Robertson1.00700.007.00
Kailas Narayanan1.00500.005.00