St.Andrews University Staff v ion8 Forfarshire Cricket Club 3rd XI on Sun 22 Jul 2018 at 1pm
ion8 Forfarshire Cricket Club Lost 5 wickets

Match report With two elevens being fielded today and a combination of holidays, family commitments, injuries and whisper denting our playing resources; it was a rather mixed eleven that headed into Fife to take on the league leading St Andrews Scholars. With the Walker family having once again set their own meet time which was 30 minutes behind the official one, it was a rather later than planned departure from base camp. Upon arrival at the ground we thought that maybe the home team had given up on us as there was no sign of life and no wicket marked, but it turned out that we were playing on pitch 2 which was a short hike away from the main pavilion.

The surface was dry looking and rather worn and the suspicion was that this would be no batting paradise. It was also suspected it could potentially wear further; therefore when a rare toss was won Clark opted to take first batting use of the track. A glance around the opposition ranks showed that the home team were missing some of their usual players and this gave rise to some hope of a possible upset. It quickly became apparent that the wicket was going to assist the bowlers with spin, lateral movement, pop and jump all on view. Pop is where the ball suddenly pops ups. Jump is where the ball suddenly jumps up. A pop is slower than a jump. Both are difficult to bat against.

Callum and Harry opened up and were doing OK until Harry took on a spin with a swish and was stumped. Enter brother Will who had been relieved of table waiting duties for the day. Upon reflection this was a meeting of two coffee serving experts in the middle as Callum has also been known to dispense a cappuccino or two. Will seemed at ease on the tricky surface and was batting beautifully before being undone by a just below waist high full toss (according to the sleeping umpire at square leg) which he clubbed to mid on and was pouched for an excellent 40. Enter James and the latest instalment in the comedy show called "Running with Callum" which saw the hilarious yes, no game being played. This sees Callum hitting the ball to mid off and saying yes, no and then the other batsman has to decide whether it is a yes or a no. James went for the yes - but it was actually a no and he was run out by miles. In spite of it being hilarious, no one laughed. Craig came in and he had a go at the yes, no game as well but he was luckier than James and survived.

Callum stuck in very well for 25 overs, but with dehydration and fatigue clearly taking hold he played an uncharacteristic attacking shot and got out for 20. Next in was Fraser and he unfortunately launched into a pop second ball and it went straight up in the air to a waiting wicket keeper. Jack was batting nicely and along with Craig they were ticking the board along nicely before Jack hit a long hop down square leg's throat. Clark came in and first ball got a jump that was heading towards his helmetless face when he thankfully got a glove on it. Craig had batted well for his runs but presumably decided that upon seeing his latest batting partner the tail had arrived and was very finely caught by a tumbling mid on as he attacked the bowling and perished for 40. The pops and jumps kept coming and Clark perhaps anticipating one of these was bowled by a scoot. A scoot is a delivery that keeps lower than expected. Blair unfortunately fell soon after to neither a pop a jump or a scoot. Just a bad shot. This left Jake to play some very fine shots in an excellent cameo at number 10. He was joined by Ted who got a pop first ball that hit his body and then a jump next ball which also hit his body. Not surprisingly, rather than risk his life any longer Ted decided to counter attack the pops and jumps with a trademark mighty wooooosh...............and was bowled. The innings therefore closed on 173 all out and given the surface this was thought to be a decent total.

After a route march back to the pavilion, tea was taken in the (unacceptable to some) surroundings of the Dundee United training HQ. The sight of a large tangerine and black club badge was certainly enough to ruin the appetite of the Dundee supporters in the room. Queasy. Tea was laid out and this spread would certainly be described as adequate. Sandwiches and filled rolls - yes, additional savouries such as sausage rolls or quiche - no. Cakes - generally of the Kipling variety but the sight of a fine three layered vanilla sponge with buttercream filling was a highlight. It was a very tasty cake, although napkins might have been handy as it was very sticky around the edges. The cake did lead to an unfortunate incident when Blair (having secured a fine slice) went back to the tea table to collect some juice and upon his return noticed his slice of cake had been stolen. "Which joker has pinched my cake?" he said..........or words to that effect! Investigations revealed of course that the culprit was none other than his Dad. Diluted juice was very welcome on this hot day. Thanks for the tea Scholars.

It is always rather perturbing in this particular tea room to see numerous large boxes of cereal which one can only assume are used for breakfast purposes by the players and staff of Dundee United. It did also seem strange to see next to the cereal a large folder which said "Manager's Stickers" on the front and inside the team manager seemed to be trying to collect the full set of farm animal stickers currently being given away with Coco Pops. There was also a pile of stickers with "swaps" written beside the folder and there were three cows, two sheep a goat and a dog - and a note that said " Looking to trade all of these for a piglet - The Boss". There was another note alongside it which said - "We will ask our kids boss, but most of the lads are trying to get the set of Power Rangers out of the Ready Brek - The Players".

Fed and watered, the second half commenced and popping, jumping , scooting, spinning and seaming were unfortunately joined on the menu by half trackers and full bungers. This signalled a flying start for the Scholars. Various bowlers were tried with varied success and then an injury blow was thrown in to the mix when Ted sustained a serious achilles injury which saw him limp very slowly from the field. It is hoped he will be fit for the end of season Disco Dancing Championship at the The Fort Bar in late August. The home team have a couple of batters of real class in Earnshaw and Crooks and they were both playing well. Crooks ( a name not usually associated with classy batting down Broughty Ferry way) had a rare slip when Blair induced him to strike one in aerial fashion to long on. After a series of dropped catches in the outfield the skipper had banned himself from such was therefore a surprise to see him stationed at long on and under this important catch.It sailed perfectly into his hands and it seemed he had successfully rediscovered the art of catching - when inexplicably the ball popped out and landed on terra firma. Crooks was reprieved and the skipper cried. The reprieve was short lived and the captain partially redeemed himself when now stationed at mid wicket he displayed some football skills before propelling the ball in the general direction of the stumps where Fraser smartly collected and ran out Crooks. With Jack now on and bowling beautifully the game had a different complexion. Blair was also bowling well at the other end. A high quality battle ensued between Jack with ball and Earnshaw with the bat. This held the key to the game as it was apparent the home team may have a tail a little longer than Csaba's hoped for piglet......but in spite of Jack's best efforts runs kept slowly ticking and the end was in sight. Jack could have at least earned a moral victory when he managed to induce Earnshaw to edge one low to first slip...........but inexplicably for a man low on catching confidence the skipper had for some reason positioned himself there (presumably an attempt to hide). Once again with the ball apparently safely pouched - but once again it jumped out and landed on the grass. More tears ensued. maybe he should have left that sticky cake residue on his hands rather than washing it off.... Craig was introduced to the attack and bowled three overs of impressive off spin and finished with two wickets for no runs......but the key to the game was the very fine unbeaten innings of Earnshaw who is clearly a class player and he deservedly saw his team home to a five wicket success.

Congratulations go to St Andrews. They are a fine side and a very good bunch of lads who play the game in the right spirit throughout. Games against them are always well contested - but are also always very sporting and we wish them well for the remainder of the season. The Forfarshire lads had a frank discussion at the end of proceedings. The upshot was that they gave the captain a wedgie and then had a whip round to pay for his clearly required visit to Specsavers and a pair of sticky goalie gloves......

ion8 Forfarshire Cricket Club 3rd XI Batting
Player Name RunsMB4s6sSRCtStRo
3nb 10w 1b 4lb 
for 10 wickets

(40.3 overs)
Callum Walker ct Jess b Earnshaw 24
Harry Hardie st Crooks b McLennan 10
William Hardie ct Jess b Earnshaw 40
James Sim run out (Earnshaw) 1
Craig McConnachie ct Mansell b Crooks 40
Fraser Ross ct McLennan b Crooks 0 1 1
Jack Hogarth ct Hey b Earnshaw 5
Clark McConnachie b Crooks 13
Blair Walker ct & b Hey 3
Jake Harrison ct McLennan b Jess 17
Gordon Walker Not Out  1

St.Andrews University Staff Bowling

Player nameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
R McLennan 8.0034134.004.25
P Jess 5.3015115.002.73
J Hey 7.0125125.003.57
P Purohit 4.002300.005.75
J Earnshaw 9.0034311.333.78
J Crooks 7.0037312.335.29

St.Andrews University Staff Batting
Player name RMB4s6sSR
2nb 6w 20b 1lb 
for 5 wickets
174 (38.4 overs)
R McLennan ct Ross b Sim 31
S Mansell b Cal Walker 1
J Earnshaw Not Out  57
J Crooks run out (Ross) 45
J Hey lbw McConnachie 11
P Purohit ct ? b McConnachie 0
J Threlfall Not Out  0
A Horgan  
S Borsley  
P Jess  
C Harding  

ion8 Forfarshire Cricket Club 3rd XI Bowling

Player NameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
Jake Harrison3.002200.007.33
Callum Walker4.0113113.003.25
James Sim7.4028128.003.65
Gordon Walker4.001600.004.00
William Hardie1.002700.0027.00
Jack Hogarth9.041400.001.56
Blair Walker7.003300.004.71
Craig McConnachie3.03020.000.00