Scorecard

Ship Inn, Elie v Forfarshire Cricket Club 1st XI on Sun 14 Jun 2009 at 2pm
Forfarshire Cricket Club Lost 70 runs

Match report
The Annual Forfarshire trip to the east coast of Fife and the beachside venue of Elie took place on Sunday. The weather is always watched with particular interest ahead of these fixtures and the hope is always that tropical suns will beat down on this beautiful corner of Scotland. Unfortunately the weather gods didn't shine on us this year and provide a scorcher, however, although the factor 15 wasn't needed at least the cagoules could stay in the wrapping on a cool but dry day.

The usual array of supporters from Dundee emerged from a convoy of buses and cars to heavily populate the beach and beer garden area. It seems strange to this correspondent that this trip to the seaside creates such excitement.... It would be understandable if we were transporting a group of kids from inner city London who had never been to the seaside in their lives; but this is a bunch of folk from Broughty Ferry which possesses a perfectly good beach of it's own? One can only assume that the missing ingredients of a game of cricket and a pub overlooking the sea are the major attractions - not necessarily in that order of course.

It has been something of a mystery to the home side (who generally excel at beach cricket against allcomers ) that this bunch of disorganised drunks from Dundee turn up every year and whilst generally messing around seem to be able to defeat the highly skilled and motivated home eleven. It has to be said this is also something of a mystery to the visitors as well.

Forfarshire's chief of beach selectors Graeme Garden decided this year to adopt a policy of giving boys a shot who hadn't played before. This did not sit well with veteran beach campaigner and skipper for the day Ted Walker who felt that Garden was taking things too lightly. In the end the Chief called the shots and it was interesting to note numerous veterans and previous winners on the sand were ensconced in the beer garden as opposed to donning whites. It was therefore an inexperienced (in beach terms) Forfarshire team who took to the sands and fielded first. In sharp contrast, it was very noticeable that home Chief and mine host Richard Philip had adopted a more aggressive selection policy and was following the "Ringer" method by bringing in a surprisingly athletic looking team. To add insult to injury they included two Forfarshire players in the shape of Douglas and Henry Philip.

The home team batted sensibly throughout and waited for the bad balls (of which there were plenty) and stroked their way to a seemingly insurmountable total of 152 at tea. Highlights of the fielding performance were hard to find, as a subdued visiting line up seemed more intent in swilling beer than playing cricket. Jim Inglis thankfully bowled from the hostelry end as there were concerns that if he had come in from the sea end he might have snagged his trousers on a lobster net such was the angle and length of his run up.
Our antipodean visitor Mr Pickering managed to fall over whilst delivering a friendly half volley and one was hoping that an Aussie would have adapted more suitably to the rigours of beach cricket. John Findlay seemed confused about whether to use his right hand or his left hand. Nothing new there I guess. The unfortunate Steven Sim was forced to wear a Flowery Cat Suit over his whites for his poor display in the field for the twos the previous day. He continued in his current from whilst loosely "keeping wicket". Overall not great and calls were being made as early as tea time for the chief of selectors head.

President Reoch rolled in half way through the innings and there were clear signs that the credit crunch was hitting wealthy Monifieth retirees, when his wife was spotted buying just one of the rather pricey beefburgers and cutting it in half. I asked her why she only bought one burger and cut it in half and she said it was Ian's new mission statement from home. I asked what that was and she said - "we shall endeavour to cut costs ate every juncture and save funds in a draconian way to ensure life is as frugal and miserable as possible." They left early to hitch a lift home in daylight.

Forfarshire needed a miracle to chase down the hefty total and more beer at tea time seemed like a bad way of preparing for the task in hand. A mixture of good bowling, rubbish batting and decent bowling meant a poor batting effort ensued. Things livened up towards the end and credit went to Ally Blair for striking a beautiful single and kissing the badge much to the delight of the increasingly rowdy travelling army. This was now boosted by the Godfather of travelling armies - Big Gav - and he was seen scouring the surrounding homes and dunes for suitable rumble targets. Jim Inglis strode to the crease and proceeded to cheat by levelling out the wicket with his bat. Then he realised he was at the non strikers end and was actually smoothing out the bowlers run up. The innings closed when the under pressure Steven Sim came to the wicket. As is tradition in these games any batsman who gets a duck has to take a ceremonial dip in the chilly waters and up until this point everyone had managed to get at least one run. To loud barracking at every delivery Steven managed to keep his wicket intact, however he also had crucially failed to score a run. A seemingly inviting half volley was lobbed up and Steven struck it in the region of mid on, however the bowler dived salmon like through the air and clutched a magnificent low catch to dismiss the hapless Sim for the dreaded duck. This was all much to the glee of the watching Dundonians.

Steven clearly didn't fancy the dooking and started to run away towards the beach wall with his team mates in hot pursuit. He then clambered up the wall and kept running in a Forrest Gump like image towards the sunset and out of sight - last seen heading towards Anstruther - no doubt with his mind on a fish supper....

He finally re-appeared with ten white clad bodyguards and had no option than to take the required dip in the sea before being set free.

In cricketing terms the day had been a washout, however as ever the social side of things had been excellent and the night was young.

With children to get home to this correspondent headed off into the Fife sunset and left the people with the bus passes to get suitably inebriated and no doubt be entertained by the usual array of games and songs - although it was clear that the chief entertainments officer was not felling 100% and was suffering from a touch of the Steve Walker's.

Roll on next year and let's pray for a heatwave.

Outdoor beach practice session for next year's squad will start next week at Broughty Ferry.........



Ship Inn, Elie Batting
Player name RunsMB4s6sSR
extras
TOTAL :
 
for 6 wickets
0
152 (0.0 overs)		     
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   

Forfarshire Cricket Club 1st XI Bowling

Player NameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
No records to display.

Forfarshire Cricket Club 1st XI Batting
Player Name RMB4s6sSRCatchesStumpingsRun outs
extras
TOTAL :
 
for 10 wickets
0
82		        
Gordon Walker  
Elliot McCandless  
Kelby Pickering  
Billy Turner  
Andrew Wallace  
Dean Fearn  
John Findlay  
Sam Tilston  
Graeme Black  
Gavin Martin  
Jim Inglis  

Ship Inn, Elie Bowling

Player nameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
No records to display.